The Christmas movie that made me stop in my tracks
Now we are in the run up to Christmas, the Christmas movie season has begun. It is the 1st December today and I have to confess, I have already watched three :)
My favourite, and the one that had a really profound impact on me, is "The Holiday" and this is why...
Despite having a career in the film industry, this movie really stuck with me as it gave me the wake up call I needed to live my life differently.
The scene that did this was when Kate Winslet's character, Iris, was at dinner with her new friend, Hollywood screenwriter, Arthur, and he told her -
"You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend"
A Rom-Com, especially a Christmas Rom-Com (believe me I have watched many!), does not normally come with the reputation of being profound, life changing or ground breaking.
However this scene and movie really struck a chord with me, and it was not lost on me that it took a movie to hold the mirror up to myself!
Iris' response was -
"You are supposed to be the Leading Lady of your life for god sake!"
I was surprised to notice I had become the supporting role, living my life by other people's agendas, prioritising their needs over mine, and deciding others were more important than me. I had learned to make my voice and myself smaller and generally no one minded, as it meant theirs got louder and bigger, and most people like the sound of their own voice. I realised that despite my experience and knowledge growing, my confidence and belief in myself had diminished, my default was that someone else would always know better than me.
I had grown from a super confident and ambitious child and became a person that slowly got dulled down by society, career, expectations, hierarchy, relationships and other people’s fear. I discovered that when people feel threatened their defense is to put down the thing or person that carries the threat, this projects their fear onto others and avoids taking responsibility for it. Consequently one of two things normally happen, the other person fights back, or they accept it.
This realisation honestly stopped me in my tracks, I was the person that accepted it. This single piece of knowledge was the catalyst to deciding to stop playing second fiddle to someone else' life, I had my own to lead!
The result of this insight was not easy, as it meant facing some hard truths, re-connecting with what I actually wanted - it was actually much easier to go along with what someone else (usually more dominant) wanted, as it required no decision making, soul searching or conflict. However, that also means you are hiding, not putting yourself out there and certainly not following your own path. This was also one of the turning points to focus my attention on training as Life Coach and Yoga Instructor, and follow my deepest desire to help others. Even though I was riddled with doubt, I still made the step to start my training.
So my questions to you are -
Have you had your wake up call?
What stops you in your tracks?
Do you ever look up from your life and wonder, how did I get here?
Please comment and tell me what stopped you in you Life tracks? Or if you haven't had it yet and want it to happen perhaps I can help you find it.
I am learning to be myself on purpose. Living authentically. Somedays I am more successful than others, but I would rather my spotlight be turned on everyday, even if I forget my lines and miss my marks sometimes, it remember -
“ Life is not a dress rehearsal” Rose Tremain
